And why The Dalai Lama didn't understand self-hate

How often do you tell yourself that you suck? Or: "That's never going to work for me." Or: "I'm too old, too fat, too weird, too all over the place, too (fill in your most pressing self-doubt issue)

You are not alone. Many entrepreneurs struggle with self-doubt and feelings of self-hate.

Did I ever shared with you what HH Dalai Lama said when someone told him that people in the West often feel unhappy?

Let me share it with you, because it's such an important story.

At a meeting in India a friend of His Holiness explained that people in the West are often not satisfied with their lives. And that the level of unhappiness was often not connected with the amount of money or possessions they had. In fact,  she told the Dalai Lama that people who were financially well off - compared to people in other countries -   could still feel deeply miserable.

image: buddhism controversy blog

image: buddhism controversy blog

And the Dalai Lama asked: "But why?" 

The friend went into all the details. About therapy, and burn-out, self-criticism and self-hate. 

And the Dalai Lama asked: "But why?" 

The friend grew slightly annoyed. Why didn't he get it?

And the Dalai Lama asked: "But why do they hate themselves?"

And the friend realized that His Holiness actually didn't fully understood why Simply Being Happy is so complicated for so many people. That the concept of self-hate was alien to him. 

What the Dalai Lama actually did, was making people around him aware that the 24/7 self-hate and self-loathing is NOT something you have to accept. That it IS possible to simply love and accept yourself. Fully and unconditional.

*Or maybe he did get it, but just wanted us all to reflect on why we make 'contentment and happiness' such a complicated thing*

We all have that 24/7 voice in our head that says:

"I really thought I should have been at 6-Figures by now

(And we spiral down to: Look at Susan, she's there. What am I doing wrong?)

"I didn't take action and I had promised I should post one post each week . .. ONE Post! and I didn't do it 

(And we spiral down to: I'm such a loser, I'm letting my entire family down! I'm mortified and ashamed!)

"It's the end of the year and instead of 100 new clients, I only had 25" 

(And we spiral down to: And I get that, because I just suck at everything I do. Who would want to work with little old me?)

"The dress doesn't fit anymore" 

(And we spiral down to: Why oh why did I eat all the chocolate. I do everything to accept my body. I should have been super skinny by now?!)

Well, you get it. Don't you?

Our negative mind chatter keeps us small. We spiral down towards full and completely self-loathing (and it's SO easy to do! Or maybe that's just me . . 


Shall we change the negative mind chatter? Shall we do that together? Shall we all promise each other that we will love and accept ourselves fully and completely!

* Shall we love and accept ourselves when we're yelling at someone we actually love?

* Shall we love and accept ourselves when we receive a horrible email from a client?

* Shall we love and accept ourselves when we make 2000 dollars instead of 10,000 dollars?

* Shall we love and accept ourselves when we look in the mirror and see something that is not perfect?

* Shall we all build the biggest strongest self-love and self-acceptance muscle that EVEN if we completely forget to love and accept ourselves ... we STILL forgive ourselves for that? 

Dearest friend, I genuinely believe that we will transform the world, build our business and brand - with ease - once we fully love and accept ourselves.

There is no Stronger Force in the World than a Woman who Completely Loves and Accepts herself. 

Are you with me?

I believe in you!

With all my love

Esther de Charon de Saint Germain
Self-love advocate 

Esther de Charon de Saint Germain

Esther de Charon de Saint Germain is a self-love advocate and business and branding strategist. A speaker, author, soul whisperer, and the founder of the Brave Movement that teaches women entrepreneurs to build a business based on self-love, radical self-acceptance, and true confidence. Featured in Huffington Post, Marie Claire, and Thrive Global, Esther is the founder of the Self Love Success Follow Esther at Instagram | Facebook