Pleasure, why you need to start with the reward
WHY YOU HAVE TO START WITH THE REWARD!
I've been raised a good protestant girl. I didn't go to church twice on Sunday, but only to morning service. I also didn't had to stay inside the entire Sunday. So really there's no need for me to complain.
But my entire childhood -- and actually a big part of my life -- was drenched in this deep sense of Calvinistic moral duty.
You have to do good. For society, humanity, the environment.
I totally agree. Doing good is very important.
What about pleasure? I never learned to do something just for pleasure. Just for joy. Just because I like it. I was taught only rich people without any morality did things just for fun.
Everything I did had to serve a higher goal.
Of course I had fun, but it took me years (and years) to brush off that very annoying stern, rigid voice that questioned if what I was doing wasn't pure selfish egotistical indulgence. It really takes out the fun of dancing or make art just because I felt like it!
It turned out I'm not the only one who feels like this.
If you own a business, are a mother, are taking care of someone, work in an office -- basically if you're alive -- you might undervalue the importance of pleasure.
I see it in the lives of the women I work with. They rather deprive themselves of pleasure. Because of shame, guilt or feeling not good, beautiful, accomplished enough.
And when you are sensitive (and feel uncomfortable about doing something 'slightly outrageous') and multi-passionate (but I'm already doing so many different things!) you might even be extra stern.
It's so much easier to sign up for a course that promises you to learn how to master SEO or how to built your own website, than do something that generates joy and pleasure.
Because you might think pleasure is your reward. Something you do when everything you were supposed to do is finished.
But pleasure is a life force. It's your natural energy! We have been given our senses, our bodies and our minds to experience pleasure.
Pleasure can come in all sizes and forms. Painting, taking a bath, dance, sing, sex, anything that celebrates your sensuality, savoring food, going to the movies by yourself, put paint on your hands and slowly spread it over paper (or your body when you feel adventurous), making art just because it makes you feel alive.
I want you to know that pleasure and joy is not the result of your hard work. It's not a reward. It's where it all starts.
When you deny pleasure access to your life you will wither. There is this blazing fire living inside of you. This is your life force. Pleasure and joy will keep that fire burning.
Are you with me? What are you going to do this week that will give you pleasure and joy? I would love to hear from you.
Wishing you multicolored happiness and a lot of pure joy and pleasure!