photo Wendy van Hardeveld

IT TOOK ME 19 YEARS TO FINALLY GET THIS!  IF YOU WANT TO STAND OUT. . .  NEVER FIT IN!

19 Years ago I managed a large conference in Tblisi, Georgia for artists and cultural managers from Azerbeidjan, Russia, Latvia, Georgia and the United Kingdom. It was absolute wonderful chaos, wild young desirable women and men, no electricity, lots of booze, ice cold, hanging out in bars to stay warm, listening to the men singing their beautiful Georgian songs.

One of the teachers - on the verge of a nervous breakdown - , a director of a very established British Cultural Institute, said to me: "You are a Beacon of Calmness in a Sea of Chaos, I am so glad you are here".

That was something I did not want to hear! 

I wanted to be a a wild young desirable woman! Not a Beacon of Calmness in a Sea of Chaos!

17 Years ago I spent 2 weeks on Cyprus with a friend. It wasn't a good holiday. We were both feeling pretty miserable, it was cold, our hotel was ugly and we didn't seem to be able to relax.

Anyway, somewhere in our rented Ford Ka my drop dead gorgeous friend P. said to me: "I'm still just-a-girl! You are the Cookie Lady! You feel like you're in charge of the best super-chique Patisserie in town."

That was something I did not want to hear! 

I wanted to be a funny, light hearted drop dead gorgeous girl without a care in the world! Not a Cookie Lady!


15 Years ago I worked at an international Design Event in Barcelona. Everyone was smart, innovative successful, witty, highly artistic and I felt completely the opposite!

After a long meeting one of the women in the group approached me and said: "The way you are sitting there with your long black skirt on that chair, your legs tucked under you, quietly listening to everyone... you ooze wisdom. It's like you are some magician who changes the atmosphere just by being in the room."

That was something I did not want to hear! 

I wanted to be smart, innovative successful, witty, highly artistic ! Not amagician who changes the atmosphere just by being in the room!

People kept telling me things like that and I refused to accept it. I obviously didn't get it.

Many years forward. 

I've tried to fit myself in every box known to humanity: The corporate designer, The calm and controlled coach, The wild artist, The innovative business coach, The detached buddhist practitioner, The super mom.... give me a box and I have managed to wiggle myself in it.

I don't have to tell you that it physically hurts when the box is too tight. right? 

You did it too. 

Right? It's what we wonderfully weird people do ...!

We take quiz after quiz to see where we fit in!

But here's the thing: Freedom is in Not Fitting InIt's in Embracing who you Already Are! It's in Letting go of the Desire to Fit In!!!

I finally embraced that I am the Cookie Lady, I am the Wise Magician, I am that Beacon of Calmness in a Sea of Chaos. I CAN also be the Wild Artist and all those other things.

But the Cookie Lady, the Wise Magician and the Beacon of Calmness come naturally to me 

Once I embraced all my inner archetypes my business took off. 

Big Time!  

My question to you is, are YOU prepared to embrace the Real You and let go of anything that keeps you in the box? 

I'd love to hear from you. Come over to the Facebook group and we discuss it!

The Wise Weird Calm Cookie Lady sends you a Big Hug!

With Love,

Esther

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