How To Transform Strangers into Your People

Meet a Man on a Mission and a Majestic Lost Dog 🐕  Transforming Strangers into *Their People*

•  Get your tissues and meet a dog and the man who wants to ease her suffering.
• This week I found this video, and it hit me right in the stomach. I have so much to say about this video. But I invite you to watch it by yourself and see what comes up.
• After you have watched the video jump straight into the article I have written for you.
  
  You will learn how the lessons of the video will help you:
  1. To become the amazing marketeer who 100% operates from love!
  2. To change the world without a drop of hate (nope, I’m not kidding you)
  3. To get a glimpse of your Real You genius!
  
  Trigger warning. If you have recently gone through hardship, maybe skip the video and only read my article.
  
  Okay, I see you on the other side.

How To Transform Strangers into Your People, a lesson from Princess and Rocky Kanaka

Okay, dear friend, how are you feeling? That was a lot, right? 
The reason I wanted you to see this video is because there is so much wisdom in this video.

It’s about much more than watching a dog in freeze mode.

If you want to touch the heart and mind of your clients- to-be- but somehow it’s not working, this is essential knowledge that will change your communication for ever.


Okay, Mr Rocky and Princess are teaching you 5 invaluable lessons.

1. Everyone can deeply touch strangers and transform them into fans, loyal readers, watchers, and even potential client (and why 'poor animal commercials not always work)
2. The Power of touch immediately improves your wellbeing
3. The incredible pain of isolation for sentient beings
4. Why It’s important to move.
5.  The power of seeing the Real You of the other and yourself.

1. How to touch people deeply and transform them into fans, loyal readers, watchers, and even potential clients.

I had never heard about Rocky Kanaka. His video just popped up. But did you see that? He has 4,7 million followers.

Let that be a reminder that there are potentially thousands or millions of people waiting for you and your content as well.

Okay, I digress. Let’s go back to Princess.

So, in this video Rocky Kanaka connects our hearts and pain to dear beautiful Princess’ heart and pain by making us feel what Princess feels. He uses genuine compassion to connect human and animal suffering.

Now, pay attention because this will change your marketing forever.

Mr Rocky draws a parallel between the fear and stress Princess is experiencing and the fear and stress we can get caught in.  We look at the video and see this majestic dog, all crawled up in the corner. Her paw in her own stinky urine. The dog directs all her energy towards not being there. She is literally causing maximum distance between herself and those looking to adopt a dog.

Layer up the extra attention. Because this is how it works:

• A. when we see a sentient being suffering, we feel a spark of empathy. (I’m not talking about narcissists etc.) We call this our so-called cognitive empathy.
  
  It doesn’t have the depth of compassion. It’s more sympathy.
  
  And yes, that can also be a spider that just lost a leg, a frog run over by a car, a cow without a place to hide from the scorching sun, a pig without mud, or the very annoying and noisy neighbours who got burgled.
  
  
• B. We use our affective empathy to respond. “Oh, that poor cow.” “Oh, that poor dog.” “I’m sorry they stole your sound system.” But at least I can sleep again.

• Can you feel here is still a distance between the frog, the dog, the neighbours and us?
  
  We can still shrug and move away from it. That’s why we switch channels when the ‘Save the Pigs’ commercial appears. It pushes some guilt, we think: I will send some money. And then forget. Maybe eat bacon the next day. Because we don’t feel connected. We’re not part of the scene and are not yet ready.

• C. But if the spark becomes stronger, we enter the next layer. We have a physical reaction to the suffering of the other. Our heart beats faster, we feel warm, or cold and tears might come. This is somatic empathy.
  
  Now, because you’re wonderfully weird, the jump between seeing the suffering and feeling the suffering can be instant.
  
  But this is not the case for everyone
  
  

So what does super smart Mr Rocky? He makes the suffering of Princess our suffering. He explains what is happening to the dog as if it’s happening to us.

He takes us directly to somatic empathy and transforms us from strangers to 'his people'.

• So, stay with me because this is what I teach.
  
• Feeling the same
  As living, breathing beings, we can all suffer from prolonged fear and stress. It will always affect our physical and mental health, influence our brain and body, and causing physiological responses.
  
  Mr Rocky opens your awareness that you, Princess, Rocky, and I are practically the same.
  While watching the video, we’re having the same feelings. Our heart rate goes up, we tense up, feel tears, and all kinds of emotions are being triggered.
  
  By the way, did you see that tiny relaxation the moment he is talking to her and gently touches her? 
  ❤️ 🐕 
  
  

2. The power of touch and stress relief (not just for Princess, also for you)

And then there is the magical moment Princess is being scooped up.

So Mr Rocky coops Princess and places her on his lap.  But first he lays a clean, fresh red blanket on his lap. He becomes a throne for a Princes!! It’s so freaking ingenious and beautiful. She clearly has never been on anybody’s lap. No one has ever told her she is beautiful. A genuine princess.

No one has ever told her the worst is over. That she will hang out on a couch somewhere with a family who absolutely adores her. He tells Princess it’s already happening.


No one has ever told Princess that she is enough.

Important side note for everyone who’s an advocate for animal rights, minorities, LGBTQIA+, DEI, freedom, environmental issues, etc. If you want to prevent people from zoning out when you’re advocating, step away from sympathy and go straight to: ‘We’re not different. We’re the same’.

3. The incredible pain of isolation for sentient beings

Now, here’s the thing: we forget to tell ourselves that we are enough all the time. Especially when you’re wonderfully weird and a true nurturer.

We forget we deserve the things we cannot phantom. But just because we haven’t seen a reflection of what is possible for us, it doesn’t mean that it will never happen.

Permit me to put myself in the picture.

• I have had a couple of serious depressions. There was a time when I was so depressed that I - not unlike Princess - hid behind the curtains for days.
• I sat there frozen and couldn’t feel anything. God, that was scary! It’s not like I tried nothing. I even pushed myself to go out into the world of the cheerful people to buy a newly released Maria Callas album.
• Being a huge opera lover, I expected it might get me out of freeze mode. Crying for 4 hours had always been the easiest way to feel better. Surely, Callas singing the saddest arias ever would do the job.
• So I lay there on my couch. Waiting for a feeling. Praying for a feeling. Anything. A tiny emotion? One tear maybe?
• Nothing. 
• I was like Princess and could not - never-ever - had envisioned the life I’m living right now. 

You see, isolation exacerbates fear and stress, making it difficult for the brain to stop sending distress signals to the body. One of the significant challenges of prolonged stress or fear is isolation. And companionship can help mitigate the stress response.

Can you see why I created The Real You sisterhood?

• Of course, I want you to have clients and money and stuff. But more than that, I want you to have the companionship of the people who love and accept you when you’re so sad that you can’t move. 

• I want you happily sprawled out over your family’s couch. Clients streaming into your business. And you’re waggling your tail, getting treats and hugs. Going out for walks with someone who genuinely loves you, being reminded of your innate awesome’s all day long:
  
  “You’re a good girl, I love you, get the ball, you are so smart!”
  
  

4. That brings me to: Why It’s important to move.

• It was clear, right? Movement is essential to break the state of fear and stress. Mr Rocky showed how inducing a bit of movement or activity helped Princess to come out of her frozen state.
• Back to me. Again. I’m giving you the human perspective (and if you're already in The Real You sisterhood, you probably see what I'm doing. More about that later. 
  
• Movement is crucial for our mental and physical health. Movement helps in processing the fear and moving towards a state of calm. When we move, we’re moving the blood flow. That eases the muscle tension and contributes to overall well-being.
• Isn’t our body marvelous? And no, this has nothing to do with running marathons. 
• I have forced myself to walk through my fears so often. I’m the opposite of sporty, but walking through Amsterdam, non-stop for hours, with no idea of direction (no smart phones) helped me process. Somehow the 24/7 inner monologue of: “Nobody will ever love you, because you’re bad, horrible, egotistical, ugly, fat, stupid, a failure, a sad looser.” got quiet down because I needed to focus on moving my legs.
  
  

TIP: flap your hands, tap your body, rub your shoulders, dance, move your head: the minute you get bad news, or your brain is not co-operating anymore.

You’re already doing it. Right? Great!

By the way, that’s why neurodivergent people are stimming. We hum, flap our hands, make funny faces (or maybe that’s just me). It’s a natural way to deal with living.

My right foot moves all the time (can you see how I’m my cat’s favorite toy?) and I flip the fingers on my right hand.

I should do a Gazette on that!

5. The next step is the power of seeing the Real You of the other and yourself.

Mr Rocky sees beyond the smelly dog, with her right paw in her own piss. He mentions the shedding coat, the unresponsiveness, fear and stress. But he is very clear that what we’re witnessing right now is not what defines her.

He recognizes the true nature of Princess. He declares and vocalizes - out loud - Princess’ potential for love and trust. Somehow, this man is highlighting the power of seeing the Real You in yourself and in the other.

TIP: Maybe you’re already checking out how to adopt a dog from your local shelter (or maybe that’s just me), but this is a significant moment to acknowledge your own Real You.

” Dearest [speak your name]
You are so beautiful / smart / ingenious / great at making people laugh-cry-think-create-act-marvel, etc.
[fill in anything that comes up]

The way you do things effortlessly is unprecedented and will bring in the money, clients, house, travels, car, fame, millions of readers . . .

[fill it in, go for gold]

Now, declare it baby!

Call out - Out Loud - everything you’re good at. Do not hold back:

Coming up with recipes, touching a person and making the pain go away, listening without judgment, lighting up the mood, sharing the different perspective, connecting dots others don’t see, hearing color, seeing music, sensing spirits ….

Go on LOUDER! Sing it, dance it, claim it!

Thank you for doing that!

How does that feel?

• If you have had the guts to shout out all the things you love and do with ease, you probably have touched the first layer of your Real You genius.
• Let me know how that felt for you.
• Now, I you want me to teach you how to bring this level of compassion into your marketing (and yourself), and what I just did with my own 'Real You Genius' make sure you have signed up for the Wonderfully Weird writing workshop on September 23. 
  
  I will take you step by step through the process of writing a story that will affect your readers.
  
  It’s free and LIVE until September 23
  
  After that you can purchase it as a DIY course, or it’s your extra gift when you join The Real You sisterhood.