How to deal with imposter syndrome . . . .
Warning: comes with swear words ;-)
Do you trust yourself enough
* for you to be a powerful force in your business? and How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome
Let me rephrase my question: do you feel you are creative, experienced, smart, amazing, wonderful enough to call yourself a successful entrepreneur?
Because it is possible you might have some doubts there. Okay, let me clarify. Here's an example. Picture this:
You're about to start a new project. A book, a story, a new product, a drawing, storyboard, a program... you know what you're working on. The evening before the big day your head nearly explodes with wild, crazy wonderful ideas.
But... there you are sitting at your kitchen table, office, coffee place...
and it's gone!
Overnight all your shiny ideas have magically turned into some brown yucky stuff.
Your muse has left the building!
In a state of frenzy, you go online. E-ve-ry-bo-dy's website is better, smarter, fancier than yours.
To make things worse, they dress better, they make things that are So Much more borderline/pretty/fancy/beautiful/smart than what you do. They have higher degrees, more fans on ALL their freaking platforms, and they hang out with way cooler people than you do.
There it is. The Butt Ugly Truth. You are Not Creative, Special, Innovative, Unique Enough.
All the other entrepreneurs are amazing. Unfortunately, you're just very middle of the road.
Wrong!!! You've fallen - face forward - in the comparison trap. You know nothing. It's gone.
You are the exact same person who jumped out of bed - only 12 hours ago - to get a pencil and paper to write down all those Amazing Ideas.
But - and this is the Big Issue - in broad daylight your precious ideas, need to be taken to the next level. That means your idea can be criticized ... YOU can be criticized.
This is also called the: Get The Fuck Out of Your Head And Into Action part of the process. This where you decide if you are genuinely worthy. This is where you are Bigger than the Imposter Syndrome.
Yes! It's a process and creative people looooove the first part.
But the: - Get your Butt Kicked, Be Accountable, You Deserve Success, Go on Do it, Make a Plan and Stick to It - NO, don't learn a new language first- Just Go and Fail, Fail Again Fail Hard and Keep On Going - part can be sheer hell.
Especially when you are a lonesome entrepreneur.
Listen. I can shout at you like a drill sergeant. Telling you that you ARE creative, amazing, unique enough. I can post beautiful motivational quotes, till I'm blue in the face. And it won't work.
But since you're such a wonderful kind of person you simply have to work your way through it. As long as you don't give up! Please don't give up!
HOW TO DEAL WITH COMPARISON SYNDROME AKA FEELING LIKE A FRAUD
What is impostor syndrome?
Imposter syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as an "impostor". Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck, or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high-achieving women, impostor syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women equally.
1. Know where you are heading.
You are an entrepreneur. Everything you do somehow has to fit in your business. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
2. Measure your self-worth
Do you feel you're just a little girl who doesn't deserve 200 clients, money or a sold-out launch? In our Self Love Success Club we focus on self-worth and self-love as the foundation of a wildly successful business. Do you feel worthy?
3. Did you fall for the Originality Trap?
Oh dear, you and (almost) everyone. Look how artists influence each other. I can guarantee you that every artists has a work of art that puzzles art historians because 'it could have been a ....(fill in name of random artist)
Read 'Steal like an Artist' by Austin Kleon and 'Big Magic' by Elizabeth Gilbert (and all those other amazing books about creativity.
4. Accept that you ARE 100% Unique
You are unique, your work might be inspired by some well known person, but you can never sound, move, look, react, write, talk, etc like her.
Always look at the total picture: your natural talents (Your Zone of Genius, also something we discuss in the Self Love Success Club all the time), your culture, upbringing, heritage, education, personality, your natural style, all those elements are the building blocks that make that YOUR people gravitate towards you (instead of to someone else).
5. Know who you're talking to! ONLY talk to your Soul Client
Are you having a hard time finding your soul clients?
*or what ‘normal strategists’ call ‘Ideal Client Avatar’, but life is too short to be normal)* This is what you do
A. THE PROCESS
Reach out to AT LEAST 4/ 5 people who you suspect might be your soul clients.
B. HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION
( this is NOT a sales conversation)
- How are you really doing right now?
- What do you think you lack?
- What is your (secret) dream
- What is your biggest fear?
- How aware are you of (The problem/issue you
try to solve)?
- If so what do you REALLY believe?
- Do you think you deserve your issue/challenge to be solved
- And if so, are prepared to invest in it?
- What do you think/hope will change as a result of having your challenge/issue solved?
- What will become possible for you?
- what have you already done to change your situation?
C. LISTEN WITH YOUR
People will tell you all sorts of things and all you do is listen with your heart, eyes, ears and all your senses. Your answer to every answer will be: ‘WHY?’
That answer will take you to a much deeper level.
D. NOW WHAT?
Make sure you meet your audience where they are.
NOT where YOU are.
If you sell ‘double deep crystal renewal aroma therapy’ ONLY the people who already know everything about that therapy will find you.
INSTEAD you focus on solving that specific issue:
‘I help you to remove the pain of your old relationship breakup so that you’re ready to fall in love with someone who’s wonderful’
Focus on those who are AWARE of their challenge and not those who need to be convinced.
Don’t fall in the ‘convincing trap’.
Go for those who are actively looking for a solution.
E. BUT THEY CANNOT AFFORD ME
If people are not ready/prepared to pay you they are NOT your soul clients (yet)
They might not feel worthy, or they simply can’t afford it, there’s always a reason.
6. IN SHORT
A Soul Client loves/respects you and you love/respect her/him/they.
A soul clients pays you for your service because she/he can see and feel the value of your service/offer.
I promise you that once you have nailed it, it’s going to be smooth sailing from there.
Good luck! +
P.S. Please don’t try to be average/ like Marie Forleo /like any other guru/coach
Be Unforgettable You . Shine like a lighthouse! That’s how your soul client will recognize you as The One.
7. JOIN THE SELF LOVE SUCCESS CLUB SO THAT YOU LEARN THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH