PLEASE DON'T GROW A THICKER SKIN!!

When was the last time someone told you:"You just need a thicker skin. Stop being such a push-over / cry-baby / overly-sensitive woman and do it!"

Raise your hand if you have been told to toughen up if you want to reach your goals.

Wanna hear my opinion?

I don't think we - sensitive, brave, vulnerable people need a thick skin. Why would you? Your delicately thin skin helps you to sense more than other people do. It's an incredible asset.

So, forget the thick skin routine, it won't help you.

- "Okay Esther, but I hate it when people unsubscribe from my list. How do I deal with that?"
- "I asked for a testimonial and I'm still waiting. Now I'm convinced they hate what I did."
- "I launched a program and no one bought it."
- "I shared my art work, no one clicked the like button."
 - "I wrote a heartfelt article and I got one reaction. ONE! not even in words, someone clicked the Like button!"

Rejection!

It's horrible, it hurts, it stings, it makes you want to flush yourself through the toilet. Rejection causes you to doubt your knowledge, your offerings, your texts. And most of all: yourself.

In comes the alternative to the thick skin. Are you ready?

The Flying Fuck Method

Since a Thick Skin is not an option we need to learn to value ourselves enough to not give a Flying Fuck when what we want to achieve comes from a clear motivation to do good. 

I know you are motivated to bring change for the good of all! And that's what you need to focus on when the going get's though! Make your WHY so personal that you can't ignore it.

I once lost over 575 people on my list during launching a new program. Yes, that hurt! I even made the mistake to see who they were and saw people I personally knew well had unsubscribed!

Double Ouch.

Bam Rejection.

Shall I Quit....?

But then I thought: "I'm not giving a Flying Fuck." Meaning I did care, it did hurt, but I choose to NOT react to it and to NOT let it stop me.

Because if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have been able to fill that program with 45 amazing brave entrepreneurial women.

It's all a matter of perspective. The goal and the motivation were bigger than the obstacle.

So in short: whenever you are faced with something or someone who blocks your goal: Do Not Give a Flying Fuck.

Face the sting. Go for long term gain. Value yourself,  love yourself with everything you've got!, love your motivation and your goals more than the blockage that might stop you.

BE A FREAKING REBEL!

But MOST of all: Don't make your self-love conditional. You are worth more than enough in EVERY situation. No matter what!

Write that second article, that third article, that fourth article, until your audience actually gets you. Get that testimonial, it will get easier, but never as easy at eating chocolate ... (I still dread asking for testimonials because I fear people will say: "Uhm well, I think you kinda suck.")

It's OKAY to be afraid, it's okay to dread what you are about to do. It might feel sort of difficult and complicated. But you WILL rise!

YOU ARE A BIG DEAL

And you will just NOT Give a Flying Fuck. Do whatever it takes. Hire someone. Get support from real people AND from your guardian angels/divine beings/ water spirits /spirit animals / ..... 

Laugh, dance, curse, cry, hug, take action!

I know you've got what it takes, Care for what matters,

Let go of what stops you!

With love and in admiration for what you do and who you are,

Esther