What Button Do You Push When Everything Falls Apart?
You and I are brave women entrepreneurs. Right?
We are sensitive, ambitious, multifaceted and prone to some very interesting mood swings.
Sometimes we go to bed feeling all 'Yippy-a-yeah' and wake up feeling 'Kind-of-meeeh'.
But you are an entrepreneur! So even though you're not feeling all confident and in control, you still courageously start working.
* You post a beautiful picture with some heartfelt words on Facebook.
But no one reacts!
It's like that empty space under your post is making fun of you!
* A client cancels her meeting
You just KNEW she was going to do that!
* Your internet stops working. And you forgot to save your post.
Noooooo! Why! Why! Why!
All the reasons to spiral into a Crazy Angry Rant are present.
Your fingers are hovering over the proverbial Explode button. You are ready go on a Blame other People Rant:
"Stupid client I knew I shouldn't have work with her! Stupid ungrateful asshole Facebook friends, they only read trash and never appreciate beauty. Unbelievable bad internet host, I'm going to write a very angry email. I'm going to crush them!"
Or maybe you push the Implode button:
"Well, that's a clear proof I always attract the wrong client. Why am I never capable of setting clear boundaries. I'm such a stupid doormat! I suck so much. Of course nobody reads my posts, that's just how non-interesting I am. I take it away anyway. I don't want anyone to pity me.
My poor beautiful post is gone also. Why does this ALWAYS happen to me. The universe is punishing me. Even when Mercury is not in Retrograde"
You take an entire different approach: the 'Oh let's just sit down and look at it' Reality Approach:
"Okay she cancelled the meeting, that means I've got 1 extra hour left. I might treat myself! Coffee and cake? An extra chapter in my new book? Finishing my Facebook ad?
Hmmm that's weird! No one has seen my beautiful post. Oh well, it's still early. Must be that Facebook algoritme, I just re-post it later.
Bummer there goes my post! Well you know I believe that it means something better is yet to come. I rewrite it now and post it as soon as the Internet is back on."
Pushing the implode or implode button is easy.
You do it. I do it too. It's super-stinking-easy.
The 'Okay, breathe, Let's look at it what's really happening here' reality approach requires you to distant yourself just far enough from the Drama to avoid implosion (hurting yourself) or explosion (hurting others).
It requires a more heroic attitude. It most definitely is a Warriors Path, but I know you can do this!
Listen, I'm not saying it's easy, but if you want to make it out there and become successful, this IS the path you need to take. I often witness my clients push on the Implosion button first, then they kick the Explosion button.
But after a while - and with some gentle guidance - they opt for the Reality Approach. Not only brings it calm confidence and fresh air. It genuinely helps them to get more stuff done. Far away from the drama in our mind! Our mind is our biggest distractor factor!
How can you choose the Reality Approach?
Next time add a gap between the thought and the reaction. Learn to look at yourself. Meditate. Go out for a walk. Find a mentor who helps you to follow the right approach.
Stay away from drama. If you want drama watch an Italian opera. Keep your energy high and your mind calm.
Mind your words. Stay clear from words like Always or Never or E-ver-y-bo-dy or No-bo-dy. Or E-ve-ry-Time. They add drama and we don't want that for now.
It might also help you to find a role model. What would Hillary do? Would Oprah react like that too. What would Pema Chodron do?
Are you prepared to give it a try?
Let me know, and if you are in one of my Facebook groups share your tips and insights !
Be well, be wise, be curious,