It's October, ADHD Awareness Month and this is what you need to know
Do you have an ADHD partner, friend, lover, colleague, or child? Or are you ADHD yourself? 🏽 This message is for you
Since I'm pretty open about my ADHD I get this question a lot:
"But Esther, what's with this ADHD stuff?"
"You look like a calm person. I don't see you jumping on tables or yelling 24/7!
Maybe you're just a bit all over the place. Aren't we all a 'bit' ADHD? We all forget something every now and then."
Good question. Here's some ADHD Inspo (Because it's ADHD Awareness Month)
► 1. Imagine that you're NOT just One Person with One Brain
Instead, you’ve got 25 layers of consciousness. Each layer has a different voice and they all want to go in a different direction.
* At the same time.
* But they are totally oblivious of the other voices.
* So layer 17 - the Butch One, who is all about action - is in charge from 8.17 AM till 8. 29. And you're preparing for a Shit Load of To Do List action.
* Until Layer 3 takes over at 8.30 - the One that only wants to create new stuff. And instead of sending out that email, you're writing a book about flowers.
❗️ This doesn't happen because I don't have a backbone.
ADHD people have backbones like oak trees. We're up to our knees in the mudd all day, puddling towards growing our businesses, keeping our houses from falling apart, or finally answering that effing message.
It's our reality. It's our brains.
► 2. ADHD people have a TINY working memory (think 1.44 MB floppy disc - those large ones)
Everything comes and goes within seconds.
* Voice 1: Let’s make tea
- Walk to the kitchen
* Voice 2: Hey that’s where my headband is, let’s call that person who gave it to me to tell her that I found …
- Looks around for phone
* Voice 3: It’s 9 AM already
- Sees clock (headband and tea are100% erased from memory)
*Voice 4: Where is my phone?
- The phone is the One Thing that keeps everything together and can be found on bookshelves, fridges, coat pockets, or in your car.
It can also be in your hand. WHILE you're looking at it. 🤳🏽
*Voice 5: Hello dear cat Marie do you want a snack?
- walks to the kitchen
* Voice 6: We are almost out of snacks, order new ones
- Tries to make a mental note (for at least 41 days until all cat snacks are gone)
* Voice 7: Shit panic 😱
it’s 9.20! How? When? But …
All Day Long. Hour after hour.
► 3 Focus Baby?
The bouts of anxiety and the fear of making yet another bloody mistake might be why ADHD people have to look out of the windows - or NOT at you - or don’t hear you when you say something.
Or they are nodding but have no idea what you said. (or maybe that's just me). So much stuff happening All At the Same Freaking Time.
Before you say: “But why don’t you meditate Esther? It will calm you down!”
I’ve been sitting on meditation pillows since 1995 (and not just for 5 minutes but for days, weeks, and months) it DOES help, but sometimes it’s also fun to be out of meditation.
And do stuff like working, eating, etc.
► 4. Hyperfocus Magic
Hyperfocus (or hyperfixation) is awesome! It’s the ADHD magic! It’s when our dopamine is released.
We don't have the button (that would be amazing! and medication is one of the things that can regulate this)
But it’s why many ADHD people - BEFORE the first episode of your Nordic Noir has ended - already know ALL the locations, how to get there, the best season to travel, as well as all the other series and movies the actors appeared in.
AND why Danish sounds so different from Swedish. Because: duh!
But the real Hyperfocus Magic is when you speed warp into a world of patterns, seeing connections and feeling how incredibly smart you are.
It’s when you can write a book in 10 days, publish it, and sell over 1200 copies AND completely forget about it! Yes, that's me too.
It’s so so good.
5. ► Brain Freeze + Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
BUT . . after the Hyperfocus it’s Dopamine Drop time. That’s pretty horrible.
Because suddenly you just know that the book is rubbish, you’re rubbish and you're 100% certain that nobody will ever buy anything from you!
And you’re ALSO back at your stupid tiny floppy disk with 1.44 MB memory.
That’s why you try to get that Dopamine running (and why many ADHD people have a Huge Closet filled with hobby stuff they researched for days and worked with for 1 hour - No, that's not just me)
6. ► So dear friend, if you have an ADHD partner, friend, lover, colleague, or child (diagnosed or not yet diagnosed)
Please know that we really try.
We're NOT late because we dislike you. We're not failing at replying to your message because we dislike you (it's object blindness). We don't lose our glasses, phones, cups, or bags 27 times each day because we're sloppy, don't care, or are horrible people.
In fact, we work harder to get shit done than other people.
✔︎ And if you are a coach Do Not Ever tell us to: "Just Do It! "
✔︎ Do NOT tell us: "If I can do it: You can do this too".
✔︎ Stop doing this toxic "Tough Love" thing where you shame people. UNTIL you have walked a mile in the shoes of any neurodiverse person.
✔︎ Your Neurotypical brain works differently from the neurodiverse brain and that's okay. But please stop treating people like all our brains are the same
Happy ADHD awareness month everyone!
P.S. One more thing: If you are neurodiverse and an entrepreneur and want to buy a program, solution, etc. for your business. ASK your coach, or mentor, how they will take care of you.
Be your own advocate.
Esther de Charon de Saint Germain
Branding Queen, Marketing Miracle Extraordinair, Energy shifter, founder of the Wonderfully Weird Way, bestselling author and Whisperer of Souls